The truth about you on social media

Hai internet!!! This is my first blog post since i made this thing years ago but I thought I’d give it a try.

I want to write about social media-no-I want to write about how pretend I am on social media. I’ve noticed lately that I use all of the APPs on my phone a little differently than the android play store description would suggest, and I was wondering if other girls my age are the same. I decided to go through the APPs on my screensaver one by one and tell you what they really mean to me.

It would be great if you could have a read and let me know if you do the same, or have any other hidden truths behind your words and pictures you’d like to share. I like the idea of 14-17 year old girls going onto the internet and knowing that we’re not all as perfect as our photo shopped profile picture would suggest, so that they don’t feel that pressure to change themselves for the good of the filter.

tinder  My tinder profile consists of filtered and cropped face only pictures of me with various hair colors (I change my hair color a lot) and a profile claiming I want something that I’ll totally ignore if it messages me. Even if it looks like a lumberjack. Yes, even then.                                                                                                                              fb

A seemingly random and carefully chosen selection of pictures of when I was thin four years ago that I want you to like/love and comment on so that I can pretend I lost more weight than I have this week on slimming world.

snapcchat   An entire story full of scenarios that I’ve completely made up on the spot and am probably not experiencing at all. This is usually coupled by a few cheeky shower cleavage pics with a towel covering me enough to confuse strange boys that I don’t actually know in real life but am about to have a very sordid convo with in the chat section. Good thing no one saves that stuff…right?                                                                                                                          insta

A table full of aesthetic black and white photos of landscape that I didn’t pay any attention to at the time and some added ones of me doing some carefully unplanned posing in what looks like a crop top but is really my pajamas rolled up. I also post basic food porn pics of regular old food with a pointlessly bright filter and bits of salad that I don’t actually consume.

wish   A “please finish your order” page full of Chinese Harlem pants Asian size XXXXL to fit an Irish size 18 that I’ll buy seven of (because they’re only four Euro each) in case one of them fits. I’ve also got a “wish list” that’s riddled in hipster and bohemian collectibles that I’ve got no intention of buying. No, not because I’ll have emigrated by the time they arrive in the post, because I just don’t want to be too much of one thing okay!

pintrest

 

A catalog I’ve made of professionally doctored pins of unreasonably thin women wearing distressed jeans with unrealistic body jewelry and dead but dyed hair so that I can pretend that that will be me, next year. (it’s been four years) I also have pins of dream catcher ideas that I wouldn’t be able to make if i was a mater craftsman, but sure look.

That’s it for the APPs so far. I was going to throw my experience of the bank of Ireland APP in there but you’ve had enough horror movies this year already. Everyone experiences social media differently and it might mean something different to all of us. Although I do miss the days of playing snake on my indestructible Nokia 3210, you couldn’t pay me to go back to a time where I couldn’t check who viewed my Snapchat story, or snoop on my friends ex’s when they get blocked from their page on Facebook.

Let me know what you think, and tell me if you feel that you’d like me to write about something in particular that you think about at 2am and wish that someone else talked about it because you don’t know how to English at 2am.

Thanks for reading.

lots of love and nudes to you all,

Roz x

 

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